


Cut

by GriffinCastle



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Der Eisendrache, M/M, Multi, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-21 01:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11933772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GriffinCastle/pseuds/GriffinCastle
Summary: Richtofen struggles with self harm as his friends do their best to save him.





	1. Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter starts off a bit suggestive. It is otherwise not present in this fic, but if you need you may skip to the (+) to jump into the story.

It was just after dinner when Dempsey and Richtofen had snuck off to share a moment of intimacy. Stolen kisses and little touches were no longer enough to satisfy the two lovers, that and Edward was starting to feel embarrassed in front of his team-mates. Takeo and Nikolai could only roll their eyes as the two ran off chasing each other boyishly. The sound of their laughter would linger in the form of echos throughout the stone castle halls.  
The very moment the doctor locked the door behind himself, Tank wrapped his arms around his waist and begun leaving soft and sentimental kisses across the other man's throat.  
The doctor giggled and pulled his lover into a deep kiss. He grasped at the lapels of the Marine's coat, and soon removed it to reveal a simple black tank-top. The sight of his thick, strong arms made the doctor feel even more embarrassed, and he could not resist running his careful fingers along the toned muscles.  
Tank decided to do the same, and carefully unbuckled the straps that covered his lover's chest. However, a sense of apprehension washed over Richtofen as Dempsey finished removing the labyrinth of belts, and reached for the buttons on his dress shirt.  
"Ah Dempsey, perhaps we should leave our shirts on, it is rather cold out." he stuttered.  
The American quickly silenced him with another desire-filled kiss. Edward felt his body melt to the warm feeling of adoration, and he wrapped his arms around the marine's neck. One could fall in love with the way he could kiss him quiet.  
While distracted, Tank resumed unbuttoning the shirt.  
"Dempsey, please!" Richtofen moaned in retaliation when he had realized, but the man continued.  
**(+)** "Dempsey, stop!" Richtofen shouted more seriously.  
With that, the marine immediately backed off "S-sorry Doc, was I going too fast?"  
The German swiftly re-buttoned the dress shirt as he enunciated "I said I wanted to leave my shirt on."  
"But doc, I want to see you.. I-"  
"I am leaving the shirt on."  
Dempsey sighed "Eddy, I've seen you before you don't have to be shy just because it's been a while."  
There was truth in the American's words- they had not been intimate in months. Mostly because they had either been traveling, busy with work, or fighting for their lives. Yet, here they were with all the time in the world, and Dempsey worried why Richtofen still appeared reluctant.  
To him, it was no secret that the doctor often expressed odd quirks and sudden feelings of anxiety, but this felt different. It was as if Edward was hiding something.  
"This isn't just about the cold, is it." Dempsey frowned "Tell me what's actually going on."  
Richtofen considered lying, but he knew it would be futile. Tank was not as simple minded as he had once thought, and he would almost certainly be able to call the fib the moment it left his lips.  
Regardless, the American tried to help him feel more comfortable "You don't need to be insecure about your body, you're-"  
Richtofen interrupts "No no, that is not it. It is just-" but before he goes on he quickly stops himself. He had no excuse to offer.  
"It's nothing, forget it." he sighs instead "I am not in the mood anymore." That was half-true at least, even if his flushed cheeks betrayed his solemn tone.  
The marine squinted suspiciously for a few seconds before standing ".....Alright. Whatever." he feigns indifference "I'm going to go hang out with Nikolai and Tak then. You can stay here and, you know, do whatever." Dempsey pulled his coat back on, making sure it was obvious that the refusal of honesty wounded him, and left without another word.  
Now alone, Richtofen fought to maintain composure. The subtle disagreement left his heart feeling empty. How annoyed he felt with himself, that he was so emotionally fragile.  
'Calm down, Edward. Calm down' he would whisper to himself with clutched fists, however, it was useless. The paranoid thoughts were like water pressing against a struggling flood-gate, but the surface would not break; only crack and chip away. He quickly grew the urge to shout and cry in frustration, but the flood would not come- it never would.  
All he could do was sit there in silence. Instead, he became nauseous with the fear that he had made a mess of their already weakening relationship. (At least, he thought it was weakening. He was not very good at judging such things. Those paranoid thoughts often clouded his judgment.)  
In the end, as deeply upsetting as it was to see Tank so hurt, he knew the truth would hurt a lot worse.  
After a few moments he made way for his desk drawer and pulled out a small tin box, his gateway to catharsis. The doctor examined the box with familiarity, and then casually tossed it on the mattress. He then began to unbutton the shirt until he could remove the article with care.  
And there it was, exposed.  
Dozens of crimson lines carved into skin.  
Patches of small burns and contusions dotting flesh.  
His secret.  
At first it became a method of coping, a little habit he picked up in Der Riese, but then all he really wanted was to feel. Memories ran with the blood that trickled from fresh scars. Bad memories. Memories he wanted to bury. It gave him a sense of release, as well as a sense of control.  
It was as if the things he couldn't expresses were seeping out of his body and making him feel new. However, that feeling would never last. When each wound healed, he would always gaze at the marks the rituals left behind and recall the heartache.  
The doctor had been able to keep this addiction hidden from the others for some time. After all, being known as the man with enough trauma to fill several books, and enough stripes to shame a tiger was not the kind of attention he wanted.  
'Above the forearm, Edward. You need to roll up your sleeves for work.'  
'Across the stomach, Edward. You were always were too shy to remove your clothes in such a way.'  
Despite his precautions cracks were starting to form, and the others began to notice Richtofen's new quirks. None of his teammates could touch him, he refused to shower with them, and not even his partner could see his body exposed. The doctor had even begun to flinch whenever his friends would simply gesture to him. It made him feel unclean. Just another secret.  
'It is for the best.' the man assured himself as he ran is fingers across the keloids.  
He finally decided to open the tin box that sat by his side, and revealed a neat row of razor blades.  
'These are not a tiger's stripes.' he thought pathetically 'Tigers are supposed to be fierce and brave... No, these are prison bars.'  
He then chuckled in embarrassment at his dramatic poetry as he reached for the cool steel  
"How juvenile."  
And Dempsey, who had been watching the scene unfold from the door frame, silently retreated.


	2. Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takeo needs to laugh 2k17.

Nikolai and Takeo were waiting before the clock tower for their lost crawler to reappear when they decided to pass the time with some target practice. Takeo aligned a few fresh bottles of wine against the wall, and the two began to take turns firing.  
If Nikolai drank as much as his other versions had he would have strongly protested a waste of perfectly good alcohol, but in his current state he appreciated the special effects that came from the exploding bottles.  
“Ha! Watch this!” The Russian cheered as he jogged to the furthest side of the courtyard. Takeo watched as the man lined up a shot with his handgun and fired.  
“...you missed.” he said, unamused.  
“If so easy then you try!” Nikolai pouted.  
The samurai stepped to his partner's side and took the handgun carefully. Then, with a quick motion he raised the gun and fired perfectly into the neck of the bottle.  
“Ah! That was brilliant, Takeo!” the Soviet picked up the smaller man in a bear hug and spun him around with glee.  
“Put me down, Russian! Put me down!” the Asian laughed as he fought the iron grip.  
After Nikolai finally complied, he looked to the upper floor to see Dempsey anxiously pacing.  
“Dempsey, you didn't happen to see crawler did you?” he called.  
“Huh? Oh, no I haven't.” he called back while making his way down the steps. His tone came across as odd, detached, or even solemn.  
Takeo tilted his head “What is wrong, American? You seem distracted.”  
The marine scratched at the back of his neck while his mind buzzed with thoughts. 'Do I tell them about what I saw? Should I be angry? Should I be sad? Will the others understand?' he then cast his eyes to the floor 'I'm not even sure I understand.'  
Finally, he spoke cautiously "I think.. I think I saw something I shouldn't have."  
The Russian raised his eyebrows and looked as if he was going to make a wise crack.  
"Wait, wait, let me explain" Dempsey stopped him. "You see, Doc was being weird about his shirt or something, and when I asked why he got upset. So I pretended to leave..."  
He started speaking frantically as he went on "Then when he thought I was gone he got out a box of shaving razors. A-and when he took off his shirt. He was just... Just covered in cuts and burns. I've never seen anything like it."  
He took in a careful breath "I-I think Edward's been hurting himself."  
"Did you see him do it?" Takeo asked, shocked.  
"Um, well no. I got a bit freaked out and-"  
"Maybe is from zombies then." Nikolai tried to rationalize.  
"No way. Those cuts were way too clean, and the burns were way too small to be from a panzer." he thought for another moment before cursing angrily "Agh! No wonder I sometimes smelled cigarettes on him! I know he doesn't smoke!"  
The soviet mumbled "I did not take doctor for suicidal type."  
Takeo shifted his weight from foot to foot, as if thinking very carefully.  
Nikolai responded decisively "Perhaps we should ask Richtofen himself?"  
"Ask me what."  
The group jumped at the German's unexpected appearance, and Dempsey immediately spoke "Oh um! We were just talking. Nothing important."  
"Oh? About what?" Richtofen asked curiously. The doctor was acting like his usual self, as if they hadn't just argued, as if he didn't just cut, and that scared Dempsey even more.  
"Uh about... about..." he looked around the courtyard almost desperately "Wine! Yea, we need more wine bottles for target practice, right guys?"  
Edward stepped to the little 'shooting gallery' Takeo had set up before responding with anger "Ack! That wine is decades old! Have you no appreciation for such a delicacy?!"  
Nikolai replied awkwardly "We just wanted a bit of fun."  
The doctor sighed and pressed his fingers to his forehead "No matter. Just please, if you must play your games use something that is not worth more than the gun in your hands."  
He turned on his heels and made his way for the under-croft before calling to the group "I will be deciphering the bow upgrades tonight, so if you need me I will be downstairs."  
"Alright" Dempsey called back.  
After Edward had left he muttered to his friends "Sorry guys, I should've said something."  
Takeo tried to comfort him "I believe it would be wiser for you to speak to him in private. I don't think he would appreciate an audience."  
"Yea, I guess you're right..." he said thoughtfully "What do I say anyway? I can't just go 'Hey I saw your scars, what's up with that?' He'd get pissed."  
"It is best if you be careful, the doctor has much heartache that he will not share without reason. Perhaps if you used emotions he will divulge them more willingly."  
"That's actually...really solid, Tak. I'll try that." He nodded. Dempsey knew from experience that the only way to get Edward to talk was if he knew he was hurting people, not that the Marine wanted to make him feel guilty or anything. He just wanted to help. He just wanted honesty.  
Nikolai added "But if he is not ready, do not push him. Now is not the time for him to have one of his episodes. We cannot fight this battle without him."  
He nodded again in approval "Gotcha." and began to follow the doctor downstairs in a slow jog "Wish me luck!"  
The two were left with a quiet aura of anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet Richtofen is one of those guys who's all about fine wine and is super elite about it, while everyone else is like "mm grapey." Anyway, yea I know one who cuts isn't suicidal. Nikolai just doesn't know entirely what he's talking about.


	3. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking a bad turn.

Richtofen sat at the workbench within the under-croft, lost in his work once more. On the table lay ancient writings describing the bow's power and how one would achieve them, however, he struggled to translate the exact meaning of the mysterious language. The man was familiar with the inscriptions, yes, but some of the symbols were entirely new to him. He spun the fountain pen between his fingers, slightly frustrated.  
Perhaps if he was not so distracted he would have an easier time. His thoughts however, would not cooperate. His mind switched from guilty memories from his other selves, to Tank's strong and muscular frame, to the castle's secrets, to the passionate and loving way Tank would kiss him, to Dr. Groph constantly shouting at him-  
Suddenly, Edward heard a shuffle of footsteps come from the stone staircase. He quickly recognized the familiar clicking of boots.  
"What is it, Dempsey." Richtofen guessed with an exasperated sigh.  
The marine stepped over to examine his work "I just wanted to see how things were comin'.."  
He had no idea what he was looking at.  
"I have not gotten anywhere I am afraid" the doctor shook his head and gestured to one of the documents "This one tells us to seek out the wolf king. He has been dead for hundreds of years, and his tomb is empty. I do not know how to begin our search."  
"I guess randomly digging up a bunch of bones is out of the question.." Dempsey scratched at his stubble.  
"Certainly."  
Then there was an awkward silence.  
"...Um doc, about what happened-"  
"It is alright, Dempsey. I have already forgiven you," he interrupted nonchalantly.  
The marine swayed a bit in discomfort. To be honest, Tank still did not feel as if he had done anything wrong. All he had asked was for Edward's honesty, and that ended with a harsh rejection (both emotional and romantic.) He did not think that was anything for the doctor to 'forgive him' for.  
He tried to speak "Oh, uh, that's good... But you see. Well..."  
"Spit it out." Richtofen set his pen down, irritated.  
'Abort! Abort!' his mind screamed, and so he did "I'm glad that you forgive me. You're really important to me, so I'll try to respect your space a bit more."  
The doctor relaxed himself and smiled sweetly "I'm glad you understand, thank you Dempsey."  
The Marine was just about to leave when Richtofen added "Oh, and Dempsey!"  
"Hm?"  
"I too, am sorry. I know that I am a bit much at times, and I know my disposition leads me to be a bit...high maintenance... but it makes me very pleased that you have been so patient." he spoke with sentiment and took Tank's hand "I really could not appreciate you more."  
It became painfully obvious that the German felt guilty.  
Dempsey had dealt with his panic attacks, his dissociative episodes, his psychosis, and even his boats of depression; and he always handled all of them with perfect delicacy. It amazed Edward that someone so tough and loud-mouthed could also be so thoughtful and sweet. Yet, the German felt the empty pit in his stomach grow with each new symptom or oddity he expressed, as if he could feel the load of worry in Dempsey's mind increase. It was stressful, and he feared that his lover will become overwhelmed by his 'high maintenance' partner and leave. The doctor still had no idea what to do other than to protect their relationship.  
"I love you" Edward finished and pressed a soft kiss to Dempsey's cheek "Now you should go get some rest."  
"Love you too, don't stay up too late" Dempsey smiled back, and left.  
However, the American was not going to his room, nor was he returning to Nikolai and Takeo. He was going to enact what he called "Plan B."

 

Many hours later, Richtofen burst through Dempsey's room door angrily and turned on the lights without any mercy for the sleeping man.  
"Where are they?!" he shouted.  
Tank cowered under his sheets and shielded his eyes from the bright light that filled the room "Damn, Eddy, what the hell?"  
"Where. Are. They."  
"Christ, what time is it?" the man mumbled from under the covers, still not understanding what was happening.  
The doctor pulled the sheets off Dempsey as bitter anger coated his sharp tongue."Do NOT play games with me!"  
"Alright alright, what do you want from me?" he finally complied in an exhausted tone.  
"I know you took them, and I want to know where they are and how you found out." the German said very seriously.  
"Oh." the Marine finally recalled. 'Plan B', aka, 'Steal Eddy's razors and hide them so he can't hurt himself anymore.'  
"Sit down" he sighed "We gotta talk about this."  
"I will not! Not until you are honest with me!"  
That comment made Dempsey angry, and his patience was finally lost "Good lord! You're such a hypocrite!"  
"I am not." he narrowed his olive eyes.  
"Bull! It's secret after secret after secret with you!....Yeah I saw you with that little kit of yours, and you know what? I was terrified!" his anger turned into sadness "Doc, I don't want you to die.. Please don't kill yourself."  
Richtofen was taken back "I.. do not wish to die."  
"Then why would you do something like that?!" he gestured wildly "Eddy, this is getting out of hand!"  
Edward did not want to have this conversation any more "We are not doing this."  
"No! We are doing this!..What do you want, huh?! For me to beg you to knock it off?! To beg for you to be normal for once?!"  
"I...I cannot control it." he responded softly this time. It was becoming clear that Tank was starting to make him anxious.  
"Of course you can't!" he replied harshly and pushed his fingers through his hair with a tense sigh "Look Doc, I'm not telling you where they are. So if you're done you can just leave. I'm tired as hell." To be honest, it wasn't like he could return them anyway, as he had chucked them over the edge of the castle's cliff face.  
Richtofen looked at him with a sense of woe, and slowly stepped out without saying another word.  
Dempsey hoped his lover would just go to his room and sleep it off, but the doctor had other things in mind. Edward knew Takeo or Nikolai had their own shaving razors, and even if they didn't, he still had plenty of tools at his disposal. He wouldn't let Dempsey's efforts stop him. Hell, he didn't even feel like cutting tonight, he simply felt like he had to.  
The doctor quickly reached Nikolai's quarters after a short walk. Lucky for him the room was empty- he did not want to explain why he would need razors at such a late hour after all. However, after shamefully digging in Nikolai's drawers for a few minutes, he turned up empty handed.  
'Dempsey must have taken extra precautions' he thought carefully 'Or perhaps this is why the Russian has been growing out his beard.'  
Edward then began to approach Takeo's quarters, but the door was closed and he rightfully assumed it to be a request for privacy.  
Instead, he cursed to himself as he made his way to the under-croft, recalling a pathetically dull x-acto knife resting on his work bench.  
Just as he was crossing the courtyard he spotted the shattered wine bottles from the earlier game of target practice. The doctor walked to the mess of wine and glass with disgust- still upset at their waste of such a fine liquor.  
Before he had time to begin another internal rant, a large gleaming shard of glass caught his attention, and he picked it out of the snow. He then turned it over in his hands, examining it.  
'...Perhaps this could work.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edward, no.


	4. It's only blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Monkey bomb voice* Is this the end?  
> Trigger warning.

The next morning Dempsey awoke as the sun was just starting to peak over the mountains. He felt nauseous and uneasy, with regrets hanging in his mind.   
The marine understood that he was a very harsh last night- that he shouldn't have yelled at his lover. It was understandable that he was tired of walking on eggshells, but Richtofen was sick after all, and the best way to help him heal was with care and affection. Not to a level that was patronizing of course, but instead to a level that the doctor would know that there are people who care about him. He quickly cursed himself for not following Nikolai and Takeo's advice more carefully.   
After shaking the guilty thoughts from his head, the American sluggishly pulled himself from the sheets and put on his coat.   
'I'll just suck it up and apologize.' he thought, and sauntered over to the doctor's quarters.   
In spite of that, the room was empty, and the sheets were neatly made. It was apparent that the doctor had not returned to his bed after their argument.  
Dempsey yawned, and instead began to make his way for the under-croft. It was likely Edward had pulled an all-nighter while working on the bows. Still, Tank had at least hoped to catch sight of Nikolai or Takeo beforehand, but they were nowhere to be found. The quiet courtyard made him taste bile on his tongue.  
As he started down the stone staircase a strong smell of blood caught his nose. Stronger than usual at least.   
And with that, the worst possible fears spawned in the Marine's head. 

He increased his pace until he saw splotches of blood appear, splotches which quickly turned into thick globs.  
He soon broke into a run, and found that the slick trail of crimson lead to his dear doctor, who was passed out on the floor near his bloodied workbench.  
"Eddy!" he shouted, and kneeled next to the fallen body. There was a thick slice across each of the German's wrists, and a fountain of dried blood that flowed down his palms to his fingertips. There was even evidence that he had tried to stop the bleeding in desperate, futile attempts, as his sleeves were dyed a deep red, almost black.  
"Eddy please, answer me!" he shook the grey, lifeless, and limp body- but there was no reply.   
"Doc, please!" the Marine began to cry. "Doc I don't wanna lose you." Hopelessly, he shut his eyes tight and rested his head against the man's chest.  
Then he heard it. The faintest sound of life. A quiet heartbeat and a shallow breath.  
'There's still a chance' Dempsey's eyes widened. He lifted the man in his arms with a slight struggle, and began carrying him up the steps. In his hurry he caught a quick glimpse of the lost crawler from yesterday, who was most likely attracted by the sent of blood; but despite that, the American chose to ignore it. The last thing they needed was another wave to attack.  
Dempsey ran up to the second floor when Nikolai and Takeo had finally appeared.  
"What happened!" The Russian gasped in horror as he rushed over.  
"Doc's hurt real bad.." The marine panted "Help me get him to his room."  
After the three helped Richtofen to his room, they began to utilized the arsenal of medical supplies to revive the dying man.   
It was tense and noisy as they all barked desperate commands at each other. They gave him blood transfusions to replace what he had lost, they sutured and bandaged the wounds to the best of their ability, and they even hooked him to an IV so the doctor would not dehydrate. There were even moments where Edward would stop breathing completely, and Dempsey had to resort to CPR. The American would give everything; his blood, the breath in his lungs, and his peace of mind if it meant his love would survive. 

When they had done everything they could, Nikolai rested his hand on Edward's neck to check his pulse. He sighed in relief when a weak, but regular, heartbeat was found.  
“We are no professionals...but at least he is stable.” he nodded in satisfaction.  
Takeo squeezed Dempsey's shoulder "Now we must wait."  
"Thanks, guys...I think I'm just going to stay here and look after him, alright?"  
"Of course" the samurai nodded "We will be back with food later."  
As his friends left, he heard Nikolai exclaim excitedly from the hall "Crawler! We were looking for you!" Tank couldn't help but let a weak smile creep up his lips.

 

It was nearing midnight and Dempsey felt exhausted. Takeo and Nikolai came in every few hours to see if Richtofen had woken up, and even brought meals in hopes that Tank would eat. The American, however, was too nervous to take in more than a couple bites, and not even offers to watch the doctor while Dempsey rested could coax him from Edward's side.   
He tried not to think too much in the moment of silence. About the sound of his lovers voice, about the day the two had confessed their feelings in the chambers of the excavation site, about the sweet sentimental moments they shared after that day, about the way he kissed him when he was sad and vulnerable... but he did. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. That night, Dempsey found himself praying for the first time in years.  
He was starting to fall asleep where he sat, when a noise startled his consciousness.  
"D-Dempsey?" a tired voice muttered.  
"Richtofen!" there was a sudden flood of emotion that overcame the marine as tears swelled at the corners of his eyes.  
"What hap-" the doctor looked at the thick bandages on his arms "Ah."  
The marine hugged his partner as close as possible "I thought we lost you, Eddy” he cried softly.  
Edward examined the bandages more closely, and then the IV that carried blood into his arm "I..I'm impressed you set all this up.." It sounded as if the doctor was struggling to speak, or that he was avoiding a certain conversation.  
"Shh you need rest, Doc" he rested his hand over Richtofen's before explaining "It was mostly Tak; he remembered a thing or two from that nasty bite he got a couple weeks ago."  
"...Who's blood is this then?" he gestured to the IV.  
Tank laughed awkwardly "Ah, that's mine."  
After a couple thoughtful moments Edward finally muttered pathetically "...I am sorry, Dempsey."   
"No, no, this isn't your fault." he looked into his partner's eyes, but Richtofen refused to return the gaze.  
"It is. I was being childish and weak and...I almost made a terrible mistake."  
Dempsey frowned and squeezed his lover's hand "It's alright Doc, but just please-” he choked on his words “if- if you're suicidal you have to tell me. I...I don't want to lose you."  
"I am not suicidal, I promise you that. My duty to this universe is too important to be wasted." Edward replied softly "The glass was simply thicker than I had assumed."  
"I still don't get why you'd do something like that then." he mumbled.  
"You know me better than anyone else, Dempsey. I am...I am a mess. A horrible sick mess."  
"Don't talk about yourself like that, Eddy. I just don't want to see you suffer anymore.”  
The doctor hesitated for a few long minutes, until he finally gave in. He didn't want to suffer anymore either. He did not want the pain any longer. He was sick of razors and cigarettes and secrets and...well, everything really.  
"My heart feels hollow." he exhales at last "I wanted to feel, so I chose to feel pain. It is my catharsis, and I...I cannot live without it."  
The German went on “It feels as if I am releasing a poison from my veins, one that strangles my own happiness. It brings me peace in a way.”  
The confession made the American cry, and he held the man close once again.  
Edward then hugged him back "I see now that it is irresponsible for me to endanger my life in such a way." he spoke quietly "Dempsey, I am sorry. I...I don't want this anymore."  
"It's alright Eddy, we'll help you. We'll all help you get better, alright?"  
Richtofen dug his head into the crook of the American's neck and cried in a whisper "I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you."  
"You deserve everything in the world, Eddy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey if you are self-harming please talk to someone you trust. Epilogue coming up next and that's that.


	5. Tiger boy

Richtofen slowly awoke as the morning sun filtered through the blinds and kissed his skin. It had been a few weeks since the incident had passed, yet the doctor had found himself still recovering.   
Although the physical wounds were nearly healed, two thick scars that stretched across his arms still remained. He held his wrists close to his face and evaluated the marks more carefully. There were times where the doctor felt ashamed by their permanent presence, but there were also times where he felt proud of them for expressing his survival.   
In regards to the mental wounds, he was even more unsure. His mind would occasionally dance with thoughts while he tried to interpret his sentiment towards the experience, but the response was typically numb and detached.   
He rested his arms back down and stared at the ceiling, wondering when that would change. Perhaps his familiarity with death had desensitized himself for good.  
He was at least glad that his friends had been nothing but supportive through his recovery. Dempsey would give him red pens to mark his skin whenever he felt an impulse to cut again- a ritual that, to the German's surprise, felt very satisfying. Nikolai would often bring the doctor music and stories to distract him whenever he could. Meanwhile, Takeo would push Edward to exercise with him at the start of each day. 'A healthy body leads to a healthy mind' the samurai insisted, although Richtofen had to admit Takeo's fitness plan was a bit too high intensity for his frail physicality.   
His partner, however, did not seem to mind the extra muscle Edward had put on.  
Although Richtofen still felt embarrassed for the lingering cravings and the occasional relapses, his company assured him it was all a part of the healing process. He felt lucky to have such wonderful friends.   
The doctor looked to his side and saw Dempsey laying there, watching him as he sometimes would with a gentle and loving gaze.   
“Mornin” the marine said softly.  
“Good morning.” Edward smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Thank you for reading, I may write more sappy things about mental illness and Ed but I have no idea.

**Author's Note:**

> I love melodrama.  
> This is my first time sharing my work so input is appreciated.


End file.
